How to Avoid Rape

During the course of a heated discussion that I was moderating concerning sexual ethics I asked my eclectic group of college students a pointed question: “Would you rather be shot in the head and thus die, or be raped yet live?” There were roughly 20 students in the discussion, 10 of which were female. Each woman emphatically stated “murder” without a moment’s hesitation to the befuddlement of some of the men present.

For women, rape is the apex of fear and terror, a violation of the body and soul.

My mind started racing that night after the meeting. As a male I always seek to “fix” things, to give advice and help others avoid pain and misery. I asked myself “rape is so terrible, how can it be effectively avoided?” Filled with arrogance and misplaced zeal I started constructing a thought process; some steps that I could offer females to help them avoid rape.

Then I heard their stories.

The floodgates opened and student after student came and talked with me after that night about how they had been molested, raped and violated. Some had put themselves in compromising situations or sought to dress in immodest fashions, yet most of them had not; my preconceived notions were shattered. I was overwhelmed. As I became more entrenched in their stories, their pain and anguish I began to empathize with them on a deep level. Their tears became my tears; I began feeling their hurt, violation, shame, suffering and disdain. I became so angry, with no practical venue to get it out. I knew some of the guys who did these things and contemplated for a moment vigilante justice, seeing as the legal system just wanted to keep these girls quite when they came forward and tried to blow the whistle.

Initially I tried to look for patterns and similarities, yet as I heard their tales I realized the only consistent theme:

A man who views women as mere objects.

I became painfully aware that we live in a rape culture, a world of power, submission and secrets.

When you pull back the curtain you can see that there are many who view these girls, these women…..our women as soul less husks existing for their own pleasure and joys, as sordid as those might be. We discover that they will go to great lengths; invest time, energy, money and more to bring about their sick desires. Rape is the epitome of selfishness.

Then we find that rape isn’t just relegated to women. Little boys are being abused as well, being assaulted and broken by ones who often times should be protectors. Nobody is “safe.”

Rape has always existed, it is nothing new yet I would argue that contemporary rape is fueled by a 10 billion dollar a year industry that devalues and exploits people.

Porn rapes the soul of the user and the used and perpetuates a world of fantasy that too often times becomes reality as it shocks and tears at our morals, violating what makes us human. It reduces people to fleshy objects and liquids; steamy, filthy organisms drowning amidst the law of diminishing returns.

We see it everywhere in our contemporary media and storytelling. Rape is often used as a plot device in popular culture, meant to stir up emotions and further character development, yet sending conflicting messages as even protagonists are committing such vile acts (Alan Moore, Robert Kirkman and George R. R. Martin to name a few).

How to avoid rape?

I grew up on a farm. When I was very young I remember playing with an odd mechanical contraption with four prongs that would expand when you clutched the handle. It was lying in a box full of tiny, thick, green rubber bands. As I was playing with the apparatus, my uncle, the owner of the farm walked by and I whimsically asked him “Uncle Dan, what does this tool do?”

castrator+bands 1

He laughed and calmly said “It turns a bull into steer.”

I had no idea what that meant at the time so I kept playing with the odd do-hickey and the funny green rubber bands. If only I would have been able to read the crudely scrawled label that read “castrator.”

If you rape, you should be made into a steer.

Send a message on a macro level that rape will not be tolerated, for those who rape and those who consider it. A shameful, visceral message that hits home, that causes any creature with testicles to wince and cringe.

Ask 10 guys which they would rather face, murder or castration?

I bet they pick murder.

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33 thoughts on “How to Avoid Rape

    1. davidjhardie Post author

      Dear anonymous/cowardly Wilson,

      Please enlighten us to your solutions (unless of course you believe our current climate of rape and violation on an unprecedented scale is indeed acceptable).

      Reply
      1. Wilson

        Well nut job first I would point out that the current climate of rape and violation is not on an unprecedented scale and historically is decreasing. Secondly we have this amendment about cruel and unusual punishment. The fact that someone has to explain this to you is terrifying.

      2. davidjhardie Post author

        I’m not sure where you are getting your numbers but rape and sexual crimes are up across the board.

        I understand the ammendment. I just believe that rape is cruel and unusual and needs to be dealt with severly. I can be critical of our constitution and ammendments from time to time.

        What if your daughter was raped?

      3. Wilson

        Historically its down meaning in the last 100 or even 50 years ago. Your heart is in the right place but the emphasis should be on aiding women in coming forward and prosecuting the crime when it occurs. The idea of castrating all men, even if they’re convicted without regard to circumstance is barbaric.

      4. Wilson

        Well hyperbole is a strange literary tool to use in the context of rape, but whatever you obviously didnt mean what your post implied so well just chalk this up to posting without thinking.

      5. Wilson

        Thanks man I will. Like I said I think your hearts in the right place I’d just maybe not advocate the old testament justice thing, especially if you have an audience.

      6. Wilson

        Well I’m far from a religious person but isn’t the point of Jesus’ coming and death to provide an outlet from the old testament Gods wrath? Seems to me that Jesus would be more in tune with preventing rape by education rather than across the board punishment.

      7. Wilson

        No like I said I’m far from religious, but I have read the bible and it seems to me the smoting and vengefulness takes a backseat after Jesus is sent down.

      8. Wilson

        Can’t say that I recall it but out of all the books in the bible revelations is the least reliable, as it isnt a historical account.

      9. davidjhardie Post author

        I guess we’ll have to take the word of an irreligious person who hasn’t read the book to tell us about how inaccurate it is (yet still try to comment on it’s teachings). Wilson my shadowy friend, you are amazing.

      10. Wilson

        I have read the bible I just can’t quote the verse you refer to. I dont believe the bible is meant to be read literally. I consider myself a Christian so I dont know what you mean by shadowy.

      11. Wilson

        Ok just read it, you do know that revelations is a prophecy, which means it hasn’t happened and doesn’t have to happen right?

      12. davidjhardie Post author

        It wasn’t good. You called me a nutcase and childishly ridculed my worldview. There was nothing good about this discourse. You have left me distinctly unimpressed and unconvinced.

      13. davidjhardie Post author

        You haven’t told me how this is dumb from a biblical perspective. And using words like nut case and dumb are intended to offend. You meant to offend, please don’t pretend otherwise.

      14. davidjhardie Post author

        It would be a punishment for traversing a law. You saw mass castration as if an entire portion of the population would be randomly castrated. If you rape you lose your ability to rape. If your murder you lose your life.

      15. Wilson

        I dont recall Jesus taking anyone’s life even for murder. I recall him dying as giving someone who did murder the way to repent for committing murder.

  1. Joe

    David,
    Thanks for posting your thoughts. I found this page through a friend’s Facebook post, and I enjoyed reading the post until the comment “If you rape, you should be made into a steer”. I agree that we need to address this issue on both ends – prevent rape by fostering a culture of respecting women, and support women who have been raped so they will be willing to report it and make sure the rapist goes to jail and does not continue the cycle.

    With that being said, I was disheartened to read the last couple of lines of your post, and your comments above. I think I remember something in the Bible about throwing the first stone… Let’s agree to let the sinless man among us operate the castration device. Until such a man is found, punishing those convicted of rape with the mechanisms in place will be punishment enough (they will likely experience what it’s like to be on the other side of the coin in jail anyway), and will at least prevent them from committing rapes while they serve their time. Also, keep in mind the false positive rate for these types of offenses – a lot of innocent people would be castrated, and there is no un-castrating someone. If the purpose of ‘making them into steers’ is to deter other rapists by a show of barbaric violence, I would have to point out Mt 5:39ff which clearly denounces Hammurabian justice. It is God’s place to judge, not ours.

    As was stated above, I think your heart is in the right place, and that you are experiencing righteous anger. But, brother to brother, you may want to rethink / rephrase the last couple of paragraphs in your post. Frankly, I don’t see the hyperbole… to me, it reads literally. If you are trying to bring people *to* the church instead of driving them away, please be careful with the use of hyperbole and sarcasm. Christianity already has enough challenges and enemies in today’s world, we don’t need to create more perceptions of barriers or judgment that may deter those who we may be able to win for God.

    Thanks for listening to my 2 cents, and have a blessed day!

    Reply
  2. davidjhardie Post author

    Joe,

    It would be a civil issue not a personal one. Mt 5:39 applies to the person and the church, but could never apply to all governments at all times. If that were the case no evil would ever be punished and there would never be any justice for anybody. Jesus’ government doesn’t look like that in Rev 19 and 20 (yet he is the only one who can cast a stone).

    I am completely at peace with “If you rape you lose your ability to rape.” Obviously there would have to be proof beyond a reasonable doubt and that person would have to be convicted as in cases of murder etc.

    This is not a minor/secondary theological issue. Look into the eyes of a rape victim and tell me that there isn’t more that could be done.

    Reply
  3. Joe

    David,

    I disagree with the argument that if this type of justice was not meted out, then no justice could be obtained. If there is no clear and immediate danger to a person, then justice should be obtained through non-violent means. I agree that Jesus was speaking about personal vengeance at that point, but the passage (as well as Jesus’ actions throughout the NT) seems to read to me that we should pursue peaceful justice over violent justice whenever possible. I disagree with the death penalty for the same reason. I don’t believe violent justice holds merit from a theological or a philosophical / constitutional standpoint.

    Would you advocate cutting off the hands of someone who steals to feed their family? They broke the law, and because of their breaking the law maybe the baker was not able to provide for his family. If the baker was thrown out of his house because of this act, her would probably advocate for cutting off the guys hands. That’s why the victims should not be the ones who make the decision about what justice should be meted out.

    There is more that can be done, but addressing the issue with love is more powerful than creating an atmosphere of vengeance. Justice is about stopping crimes, vengeance is about getting even for crimes committed. An argument related to ‘what would the victim want done’ or ‘what would you want done if it were your family member’ is an argument about vengeance.

    Joe

    Reply
    1. davidjhardie Post author

      Joe,

      I chose castration as more of a deterrent toward future crimes. I was striving to match the intensity of rape with something equally as intense for a man. This thinking would be to prevent rape in the future.

      I would not advocate cutting off a hand for petty theft, I believe in restitution. They would be made to pay for the bread.

      How does one make restitution for rape?

      If Jesus did not come to abolish the law and nary a jot mor tittle would disappear from the law, how would you argue against a civil death sentence?

      All of this would be dealt with by the governing authority. I am not advocating that the victims or there families be a part of it.

      I don’t think you are willing to go far enough to prevent rape. I am willing to go to extreme lengths because of how heinous a trespass it is.

      And you never addressed Revelation and Jesus’ government.

      Reply

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