Too Cool To Watch The Superbowl?


We understand that you are too cool to watch the Superbowl.

We have seen your posts, tweets and instagrams. Your snarky “Wait, there’s a game on?” quips followed by equally as creative “Sportball!” trolls have not gone unnoticed!

You have proven unequivocally that you are cooler than millions of people worldwide watching this “boring, pointless, empty spectacle.” You are not a sports worshiping, popular culture guzzling cog in the machine; we get it.

You are different.

You are unique.

You are…….. an INDIVIDUAL!

You stand out amidst the masses; you stand above the mindless consumer horde as you post selfies of your most recent Dungeons and Dragons campaign or you posing in oddly suggestive positions with your cats……in your parent’s basement.

It must be soooooooo annoying to see your various social media feeds gummed up with Superbowl references. I understand that the only recourse you have is trolling people online to put the attention on how utterly evolved a person you are.

I am aware that you are going to hate me for saying this: In this country, Football matters.

Lots of people care about it.

Many of those people are intelligent, observant folk who can even appreciate the frivolity of watching millionaires play other millionaires in a game run by billionaires while we all watch and make them richer and richer.

Yet might I state that the Super Bowl is a cultural phenomenon, if you chose to live outside of it you are missing out on a deeper understanding of America, the pulse of culture, popular morality, the Zeitgeist, adverting, politics, economics, narratives and the current perception of the “American Dream” so many of us are chasing. There is much to learn from the spectacle; quite a bit to debate, digest and process. It will help you understand people today far better than any sociology or psychology book you can pick up.

There are heroes and villains on either side (mostly villains in this particular match-up). There are archetypal characters, underdogs and overlords. There are perceptions about the shifting sands of morality in our present cultural climate.

There is a deeply social, communal element to all of this. People gather socially and feast, partaking in merry-making and a respite from the trials of the workplace/reality for a bit. If you are honest with yourself you probably have something like this in your own life.

I saw a post from a young teen that read “Tonight’s game tells me that I was lied to when they say ‘Cheaters Never Win.’”

How can you tell me that this is neither important nor intriguing? This child is wrestling with a common moral standard that has been passed down to him versus the reality he perceives played out on the HD screen in front of him. This may be an existential crisis for him as he processes good, evil, integrity and character. How can these elements be so curtly dismissed?

We are all nerds for something. Bill Belichick is a nerd (an evil, evil one, but a nerd, none the less) for football. LeBron James is a nerd for Basketball. Daniel Day Lewis is a nerd for acting. Stephen King is a nerd for Literature. Kanye is a nerd for music. Kim Kardashian is a nerd for……. celebrity celebration?

Criticize if you like but please don’t believe that football is unimportant. Anything that attracts this much attention is objectively significant whether you agree or not.

You don’t have to like it; just ignore it in peace (people will respect you more).

I promise that I won’t troll your posts with negative rants about your love for 90’s Anime, Live Action Role Playing, breastfeeding techniques, Folk Music or competing Operating Systems.

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